She gave up many of the comforts
of life, locked herself into her room, and spent many weary hours in
self-imposed penance. Against the holy claims of God her heart soon
rebelled, and she longed to be taken out of her misery.
At length she attained a more scriptural view of the way of salvation; she
saw Christ as a vicarious sacrifice, and felt that, if saved at all, it
must be by his blood, and not by her own imperfect righteousness. This
view of Jesus was sweet and precious. He had become, not the Savior of the
world, but _her_ own Savior; he had died, not merely for the sins of the
race, but for _her_ sins; and in this sacred contemplation her soul found
sweet relief. The torturing load of fears was gone; one sight of Christ had
changed the heart and taken away its grief and sin. Like a liberated slave
she rejoiced in perfect freedom, and her happy soul went out in joyful
thanks to Him who had wrought the work.
With a heart changed by God, she seemed to pass from rapture to rapture,
from bliss to bliss. Beneath the operations of grace her mind and her heart
seemed to be enlarged, and to a wonderful extent she drank in the truth
of the inspired word.
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