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Bangs, John Kendrick, 1862-1922

"The Pursuit of the House-Boat Being Some Further Account of the Divers Doings of the Associated Shades, under the Leadership of Sherlock Holmes, Esq."

The best pay I got was from a Sunday noospaper,
which paid me well to sign an article on 'Modern Piracy' which I didn't
write. Finally business got so bad the crew began to murmur, an' I was at
my wits' ends to please 'em; when one mornin', havin' passed a restless
night, I picks up a noospaper and sees in it that 'Next Saturday's steamer
is a weritable treasure-ship, takin' out twelve million dollars, and the
jewels of a certain prima donna valued at five hundred thousand.' 'Here's
my chance,' says I, an' I goes to sea and lies in wait for the steamer. I
captures her easy, my crew bein' hungry, an' fightin' according like. We
steals the box a-hold-in' the jewels an' the bag containin' the millions,
hustles back to our own ship, an' makes for our rondyvoo, me with two
bullets in my leg, four o' my crew killed, and one engin' of my ship
disabled by a shot--but happy. Twelve an' a half millions at one break is
enough to make anybody happy."
"I should say so," said Abeuchapeta, with an ecstatic shake of his head.
"I didn't get that in all my career."
"Nor I," sighed Kidd. "But go on, Hawkins."
"Well, as I says," continued Captain Hawkins, "we goes to the rondyvoo to
look over our booty. 'Captain 'Awkins,' says my valet--for I was a swell
pirate, gents, an' never travelled nowhere without a man to keep my
clothes brushed and the proper wrinkles in my trousers--'this 'ere twelve
millions,' says he, 'is werry light,' says he, carryin' the bag ashore.


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