) In this sentence, "rushed"
and "snatched" lose rather than gain force by adding "hurriedly" and
"hastily." Look up definitions of "rush" and "snatch." When we wish to
express strong emotion or to describe action resulting from excitement, we
only weaken the impression by using unnecessary words. Simple, direct
sentences are most forceful. In aiming to secure sentence emphasis, then,
we should avoid circumlocution, redundancy, tautology, and verbosity.
(Look up these terms in the Century Dictionary.)
4. _The use of general rather than specific terms_. (He approached the
brook cautiously, and concealing himself in the bushes, began fishing.) A
consideration of the choice of words in the sentence belongs strictly to
the study of diction; however, force in the sentence is dependent in a
large measure on the words employed. Observe how forceful the following
sentence is as contrasted with the first example: (He crept noiselessly to
the fishing hole, and hiding in the willows, threw his hook into the
stream.)
5. _Failure to employ balance and contrast_. (Worth makes the man; but the
fellow is made by the want of it.) (His life was spent in repenting of
past misdeeds; in doing what was wrong, while he inculcated principles of
righteousness.) Compare these with: (Worth makes the man; the want of it,
the fellow.) (His life was spent in sinning and repenting; in inculcating
what was right, and doing what was wrong.
Pages:
482
483
484
485
486
487
488
489
490
491
492
493
494
495
496
497
498
499
500
501
502
503
504
505
506