Emphasis in the sentence is affected unfavorably by+--
1. _Weak beginnings and endings_. (A fire in the city is an exciting event
to the average boy.) (It seemed that the unprincipled fellow had forged
his father's name.) In the first sentence, the important words are
"exciting event," and they should occupy the most conspicuous position,--
at the end of the sentence. The effectiveness is much improved by this
order: (To the average boy, a fire in the city is an exciting event.) In
the second sentence the weak place is the beginning. The subject and its
modifiers are striking enough to demand their rightful position,--as the
introductory words; in "forged his father's name" we have ideas startling
enough for a place at the end of the sentence. "It seemed that" can be
reduced to one word, "apparently," and this can be made parenthetical.
(The unprincipled fellow, apparently, had forged his father's name.) This
sentence, it will be observed, illustrates the periodic or suspended
structure, a type particularly effective to employ for sustaining interest
as well as for securing emphasis.
2. _Failure to observe the order of climax_. (Dazed, broken-hearted,
hungry, the poor mother resumed her daily tasks.) Clearly, the strongest
idea is suggested by "broken-hearted." A better order would be: (Hungry,
dazed, broken-hearted, the poor mother resumed her daily tasks.)
3. _The use of superfluous words_. (I rushed hurriedly into the burning
house and hastily snatched my few possessions.
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