We must remember that, in the sentence as well as in the whole composition
and the paragraph, if coherence and unity are secured, emphasis is quite
likely to follow naturally. On the other hand, a violation of coherence or
unity often results in a lack of emphasis.
+96. Unity in the sentence is affected unfavorably by+--
1. _The presence of more than one main thought_. (Stonewall Jackson was a
general in the Confederate Army, and he is said to have been a very
religious man.) In this sentence two distinct thoughts are embodied, and
in such a way that their relation to each other is altogether illogical.
The effect is not that of a single thought. To possess unity the two or
more thoughts of a compound sentence should sustain some particular
relation, like cause and effect, contrast, series, details of a picture.
We can unite the two thoughts in a perfectly logical sentence, thus:
(Stonewall Jackson, the Confederate general, is said to have been a very
religious man.)
2. _The addition of too many dependent clauses_. (The boy was startled
when he awoke, for he heard the plan of his captors, who were preparing to
seize the boat, which had been left by his friends who had so mysteriously
deserted him at a time when he needed them most.) Here, the numerous
dependent clauses tacked on obscure the main thought. The sentence should
be broken up and, where possible, clauses should be reduced to phrases and
words.
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