"'Jim Yates must go; he's one day very hot,
And one day ice; I take a heriot;
And poorly, poorly's Jacob Burgess.
The doctor tells me he has pour'd
Into his stomach half his hoard
Of anthelminticals and purges.
"'Judith, the wife of Ebenezer
Fillpots, won't have him long to tease her;
Fillpots blows hot and cold like Jim,
And, sleepless lest the boys should plunder
His orchard, he must soon knock under;
Death has been looking out for him.
"'He blusters; but his good yard land
Under the church, his ale-house, and
His Bible, which he cut in spite,
Must all fall in; he stamps and swears
And sets his neighbours by the ears -
Fillpots, thy saddle sits not tight!'
"The epitaph is ready:-
'HERE
LIES ONE WHOM ALL HIS FRIENDS DID FEAR
MORE THAN THEY EVER FEARED THE LORD;
IN PEACE HE WAS AT TIMES A CHRISTIAN;
IN STRIFE, WHAT STUBBORNER PHILISTINE!
SING, SING HIS PSALM WITH ONE ACCORD.
"'And he who lent my lord his wife
Has but a very ticklish life;
Although she won him many a hundred,
'T won't do; none comes with briefs and wills,
And all her gainings are gilt pills
From the sick madman that she plundered.
"'And the brave lad who sent the bluff
Olive-faced Frenchman (sure enough)
Screaming and scouring like a plover,
Must follow--him I mean who dash'd
Into the water and then thrash'd
The cullion past the town of Dover.
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