In part she succeeded, but
it remained a matter of speculation how all the necessary articles
which she had to buy for herself, and all Emily's various orders,
were to come out of her own means, reduced as they were by former
loans.
The next day Lilias was on her way to London; feeling, as she left
Beechcroft, that it was a great relief that the schoolroom and
storeroom could not follow her. She was sorry that she should miss
seeing Alethea Weston, who was to come home the next day, but she
left various messages for her, and an affectionate note, and had
received a promise from her sisters that the copy of the music should
be given to her the first day that they saw her. Her journey
afforded her much amusement, and it was not till towards the end of
the day that she had much time for thinking, when, her companions
being sleepily inclined, she was left to her own meditations and to a
dull country. She began to revolve her own feelings towards Eleanor,
and as she remembered the contempt and ingratitude she had once
expressed, she shrank from the meeting with shame and dread, and knew
that she should feel reproached by Eleanor's wonted calmness of
manner.
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