'I knew it well enough before,' said Claude, 'it was what he had
often set before me. Indeed, till I came home, and saw this place
without him, I never really knew what a loss he was. At Eton I did
not miss him more than when he went to Oxford, and I did not dwell on
what he was to papa, or what I ought to be; and even when I saw what
home was without him, I should have contented myself with miserable
excuses about my health, if it had not been for my confirmation; then
I awoke, I saw my duty, and the wretched way in which I had been
spending my time. Thoughts of Harry and of my father came
afterwards; I had not vigour enough for them before.'
Here they reached the house, and parted--Claude, ashamed of having
talked of himself for the first time in his life, and Lily divided
between shame at her own folly and pleasure at Claude's having thus
opened his mind.
Jane, who was most in fault, escaped censure. Her father was
ignorant of her improper speech. Emily forgot it, and it was not
Claude's place to reprove his sisters, though to Lily he spoke as a
friend. It passed away from her mind like other idle words, which,
however, could not but leave an impression on those who heard her.
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