On the contrary,
my mother, finding it vain to deny all knowledge of her, led me to
believe that she was boarded at a young ladies' school with my little
sisters. I lived on the vain hope of the holidays, and meantime
every effort was made to drive me into a marriage which my very soul
abhorred, the contract being absolutely made by the two ladies, the
mothers, without my participation, nay, against my protest. I was to
be cajoled or else persecuted into it--sold, in fact, that my mother's
debts might be paid before her husband's return! I knew my Uncle
Belamour was my sole true personal guardian, though he had never acted
further than by affixing his signature when needed. I ought to have
gone long before to see him, but as I now understand, obstacles had
been purposely placed in my way, while my neglectful reluctance was
encouraged. It was in the forlorn hope of finding in him a resource
that took me to Bowstead at last, and then it was that I learnt how
far my mother could carry deception. There I found my sisters, and
learnt that my own sweetest life had been placed there likewise. She
was that afternoon visiting some old ladies, but my uncle represented
that my meeting her could only cause her trouble and lead to her being
removed. I was forced then to yield, having an engagement in London
that it would have been fatal to break, but I came again at dark, and
having sworn me to silence, he was forced to let me take advantage of
the darkness of his chamber to listen to her enchanting voice.
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