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Coleridge, Samuel Taylor, 1772-1834

"Specimens of the Table Talk of Samuel Taylor Coleridge"

There was not a family in it in which a wife or a
daughter was not a kept mistress. A marquis of ancient family applied to
Sir Alexander Ball to be appointed his valet. "My valet!" said Ball, "what
can you mean, Sir?" The marquis said, he hoped he should then have had the
honour of presenting petitions to his Excellency. "Oh, that is it, is it!"
said Sir Alexander: "my valet, Sir, brushes my clothes, and brings them to
me. If he dared to meddle with matters of public business, I should kick
him down stairs."
In short, Malta was an Augean stable, and Ball had all the inclination to
be a Hercules.[1] His task was most difficult, although his qualifications
were most remarkable. I remember an English officer of very high rank
soliciting him for the renewal of a pension to an abandoned woman who had
been notoriously treacherous to us. That officer had promised the woman as
a matter of course--she having sacrificed her daughter to him. Ball was
determined, as far as he could, to prevent Malta from being made a nest of
home patronage. He considered, as was the fact, that there was a contract
between England and the Maltese. Hence the government at home, especially
Dundas, disliked him, and never allowed him any other title than that of
Civil Commissioner.


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