It is the fierce and jealous sort of love that
is so hard to deal with, a love that exults in solitariness of
devotion, and cannot bear any intrusion of other relations.
Yet if one believes, as I for one believe, that the secret of the
world is somehow hidden in love, and can be interpreted through
love alone, then one must run the risks of love, and seek for
strength to bear the inevitable suffering which love must bring.
But men and women are very differently made in this respect. Among
innumerable minor differences, certain broad divisions are clear.
Men, in the first place, both by training and temperament, are far
less dependent upon affection than women. Career and occupation
play a much larger part in their thoughts. If one could test and
intercept the secret and unoccupied reveries of men, when the mind
moves idly among the objects which most concern it, it would be
found, I do not doubt, that men's minds occupy themselves much more
about definite and tangible things--their work, their duties, their
ambitions, their amusements--and centre little upon the thought of
other people; an affection, an emotional relation, is much more of
an incident than a settled preoccupation; and then with men there
are two marked types, those who give and lavish affection freely,
who are interested and attracted by others and wish to attach and
secure close friends; and there are others who respond to advances,
yet do not go in search of friendship, but only accept it when it
comes; and the singular thing is that such natures, which are often
cold and self-absorbed, have a power of kindling emotion in others
which men of generous and eager feeling sometimes lack.
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