"What this country needs," said Penfentenyou, "is--" and for ten
minutes he trumpeted rebellion.
"What you need is to pay for your own protection," I cut in when
he drew breath, and I showed him a yellowish paper, supplied
gratis by Government, which is called Schedule D. To my merciless
delight he had never seen the thing before, and I completed my
victory over him and all the Colonies with a Brassey's "Naval
Annual" and a "Statesman's Year Book."
The Agent-General interposed with agent-generalities (but they
were merely provocateurs) about Ties of Sentiment.
"They be blowed!" said Penfentenyou. "What's the good of
sentiment towards a Kindergarten?"
"Quite so. Ties of common funk are the things that bind us
together; and the sooner you new nations realize it the better.
What you need is an annual invasion. Then you'd grow up."
"Thank you! Thank you!" said the Agent-General. "That's what I am
always trying to tell my people."
"But, my dear fool," Penfentenyou almost wept, "do you pretend
that these banana-fingered amateurs at home are grown up?"
"You poor, serious, pagan man," I retorted, "if you take 'em that
way, you'll wreck your Great Idea.
Pages:
241
242
243
244
245
246
247
248
249
250
251
252
253
254
255
256
257
258
259
260
261
262
263
264
265